Its soooooo weird reading old entries.
......I'm usually more Vulgar in person. So I'm suprised their's no explicit talk...I guess I'm growin up :)
....a couple of entries/weeks ago I wrote about getting my new job.
.......near the end of the entry I wrote about take a friend out (now that I'm gettin PiZzaid) and showing them how much I Pre'Shate them.
.........I'm usually mad creative with gifts and surprises (you'll see)....so I had planned this bomb ass outing.
....
.......
.........we haven't spoken in about a month.
....I dunno what I did wrong (but obviously I have done something)...
...everytime we have plans to hang...something comes on my end and theirs....but ofcourse I gotta take the guilt for it.
....here's a lil example of how a convo went between us
Them: wanna hang on monday?
Me: sure but after 12pm though
Them: co0l cause I gotta go 2 the DMV in the morn anyway. We'll meet for a coffee or suttin.
Me: sounds co0l.
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.......that day I checked in a few times...2-3 text's and finally with a phone call wayyyy later on that night..that's went like this>>
Me: so what happend?...I texted u and stuff.
Them: yeah I was cleaning.
Me: how was the DMV?
Them: I aint even go.
....
.......
...........
....now I might seem stalkerLish but I had already been quiet nervous about hangin out anyway..but was sorta lookin forward to it.
...since then its like we both just sorta started distancing ourselves from each other..I would send a text every now and then...I got some responses and none at times...I'm gonna stop now.
......1 day we'll hang*
**that day is just not now or 2morrow.
....I gotta be at 4:10am (4:30am is not enough time for me 2 get ready to leave by 5:30 :(
..........................
Current Mo0d: Brave
Sunday, June 1, 2008
CaptainsLog: calorie Counting addicts =)
So I'm now a member of a gym (again)
....NYSportsClub always looked like the shit on TV.
.....now I'm apart of the shit..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™...
.. ... ... ...I called last night just 2 ask questions and the dude Marc was M@D co0l..no pressure at all. I decided it was worth getting-rather than my planned laptop.
...it was 29 to joine and $85/month----now I have a distraction from life and my own thoughts (seems like they be takin over sometimes =(
.......
...
..........
......so today I get a call from Cig or Fig (a manager trying 2 set me with my 1 time only FREE training session with a trainer)
...............she was co0l also, but I don't want the session. Or the pressure that will come with it.
.....I just wanna leave work..walk a blox or hope on the train 2 UnionSquare and work out for about an hour then leave....
...all for what I'm paying now.
......anyway I decided 2 just go in on tuesday the 9'th...and see what happens.
......
........
....
.....I'm usually slick with my mouth so if any pressure is put on me 2 get something I don't want. After I tell them (or him) off I'll say
"ohhh and for the Record-you came on a lil strong" with a face expression to rival that of Sammie Davis Juniors =)
...........
.....
.......hmmm..I need new sneakers and shorts for the gym =(
........................Damnit*
....NYSportsClub always looked like the shit on TV.
.....now I'm apart of the shit..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™...
.. ... ... ...I called last night just 2 ask questions and the dude Marc was M@D co0l..no pressure at all. I decided it was worth getting-rather than my planned laptop.
...it was 29 to joine and $85/month----now I have a distraction from life and my own thoughts (seems like they be takin over sometimes =(
.......
...
..........
......so today I get a call from Cig or Fig (a manager trying 2 set me with my 1 time only FREE training session with a trainer)
...............she was co0l also, but I don't want the session. Or the pressure that will come with it.
.....I just wanna leave work..walk a blox or hope on the train 2 UnionSquare and work out for about an hour then leave....
...all for what I'm paying now.
......anyway I decided 2 just go in on tuesday the 9'th...and see what happens.
......
........
....
.....I'm usually slick with my mouth so if any pressure is put on me 2 get something I don't want. After I tell them (or him) off I'll say
"ohhh and for the Record-you came on a lil strong" with a face expression to rival that of Sammie Davis Juniors =)
...........
.....
.......hmmm..I need new sneakers and shorts for the gym =(
........................Damnit*
CaptainsLog: calorie Counting addicts =)
So I'm now a member of a gym (again)
....NYSportsClub always looked like the shit on TV.
.....now I'm apart of the shit..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™...
.. ... ... ...I called last night just 2 ask questions and the dude Marc was M@D co0l..no pressure at all. I decided it was worth getting-rather than my planned laptop.
...it was 29 to joine and $85/month----now I have a distraction from life and my own thoughts (seems like they be takin over sometimes =(
.......
...
..........
......so today I get a call from Cig or Fig (a manager trying 2 set me with my 1 time only FREE training session with a trainer)
...............she was co0l also, but I don't want the session. Or the pressure that will come with it.
.....I just wanna leave work..walk a blox or hope on the train 2 UnionSquare and work out for about an hour then leave....
...all for what I'm paying now.
......anyway I decided 2 just go in on tuesday the 9'th...and see what happens.
......
........
....
.....I'm usually slick with my mouth so if any pressure is put on me 2 get something I don't want. After I tell them (or him) off I'll say
"ohhh and for the Record-you came on a lil strong" with a face expression to rival that of Sammie Davis Juniors =)
...........
.....
.......hmmm..I need new sneakers and shorts for the gym =(
........................Damnit*
....NYSportsClub always looked like the shit on TV.
.....now I'm apart of the shit..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™...
.. ... ... ...I called last night just 2 ask questions and the dude Marc was M@D co0l..no pressure at all. I decided it was worth getting-rather than my planned laptop.
...it was 29 to joine and $85/month----now I have a distraction from life and my own thoughts (seems like they be takin over sometimes =(
.......
...
..........
......so today I get a call from Cig or Fig (a manager trying 2 set me with my 1 time only FREE training session with a trainer)
...............she was co0l also, but I don't want the session. Or the pressure that will come with it.
.....I just wanna leave work..walk a blox or hope on the train 2 UnionSquare and work out for about an hour then leave....
...all for what I'm paying now.
......anyway I decided 2 just go in on tuesday the 9'th...and see what happens.
......
........
....
.....I'm usually slick with my mouth so if any pressure is put on me 2 get something I don't want. After I tell them (or him) off I'll say
"ohhh and for the Record-you came on a lil strong" with a face expression to rival that of Sammie Davis Juniors =)
...........
.....
.......hmmm..I need new sneakers and shorts for the gym =(
........................Damnit*
CaptainsLog: MEAT WithDrawl :(
....pple never really belong to other pple. Just cause you miss some body doesn't mean you'll get to hug them.
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..........I FUCKING miss MEAT.
.....yeah I do. For like the past 2 weex now. Just been on my mind non-stop. Its like I'm an addict going thru withdrawl symptoms.
............it will pass (it has to)
....but for now its here and I tried dealing with it. And how did I go about that?
.....I got a gym memberShip at the NYSportsClub for $85 bux a month / brightest idea I ever had?...maybe not.
...but untill I get to see that smile in person, (or that ass ッ)
......ima distract myself with a treadmil, an eliptical machine and "The devil Wears Prada" DVD ....
....
.........Peace
......
....
......
.........
....
..
............
.......
..........I FUCKING miss MEAT.
.....yeah I do. For like the past 2 weex now. Just been on my mind non-stop. Its like I'm an addict going thru withdrawl symptoms.
............it will pass (it has to)
....but for now its here and I tried dealing with it. And how did I go about that?
.....I got a gym memberShip at the NYSportsClub for $85 bux a month / brightest idea I ever had?...maybe not.
...but untill I get to see that smile in person, (or that ass ッ)
......ima distract myself with a treadmil, an eliptical machine and "The devil Wears Prada" DVD ....
....
.........Peace
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
CaptainsLog: to BirthDay or not to BirthDay?!
Me: wazzup?
X: heyyy "Happy BirthDay"
Me: Thanx...lol
X: what did you do today?
Me: woke at 4:30am....ummm went to work....responded 2 some "Happy B Day texts"......ummm watched TopModel.. Etccc..nuttin speshul
X: ohhh you ok?
Me: eww..don't ask me that..lol ...I'm not a baby I'm fine..you know I don't celebrate my birthday anymore
X: yeah I know....maybe u should just tell me y cause the masses wanna know Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™
Me:..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™ --another time....I have my reasons.
X: so what gifts you got?
Me: ummm nothing---ohhh my mom made food though. ♂ kept saying ♂ made my favorite food, but what ♂ made wasn't my fav food ...that hurt a lil bit..but I aint let her see that. Feel me?
X: yeah--maybe your too difficult
Me: eww..I'm not...we don't do the gift exchange thing....usually ＄ in a card...or we go out and I pick my shit.......so were gonna set a date..but I'm over it.
X: yet u sound ?...on your birthday....you saidu wasn't expecting anything and that u don't celebrate it and shit...y u sound sooooo stank man?
Me: I realized...that I'm lucky.
I'm alive. Not starving. Has a mom who loves me. A job that pays me upto 16/hour.
Dreams that now seem reachable (thanks to my job)
....and even though some pple woulda wanted gifts and shit---i really wanted a phone call from (blank). =(
.......I'll live. I don't have a choice!
....I'll holla @ you L8a X---ima finish watch this shit then head 2 bed. I'm tired.
X: aight man. And cheer . You gettin paid soon and remember those DolceSneaks you wanted?..u can get emm now.
Me: ohhh yeahhh....when one feels ..Dolce&Gabbana should be the answer...NOTTTTTTT ! ! !
X: retard..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™ --hit me 2morrow or suttin.
Me: Peace <3
X: heyyy "Happy BirthDay"
Me: Thanx...lol
X: what did you do today?
Me: woke at 4:30am....ummm went to work....responded 2 some "Happy B Day texts"......ummm watched TopModel.. Etccc..nuttin speshul
X: ohhh you ok?
Me: eww..don't ask me that..lol ...I'm not a baby I'm fine..you know I don't celebrate my birthday anymore
X: yeah I know....maybe u should just tell me y cause the masses wanna know Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™
Me:..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™ --another time....I have my reasons.
X: so what gifts you got?
Me: ummm nothing---ohhh my mom made food though. ♂ kept saying ♂ made my favorite food, but what ♂ made wasn't my fav food ...that hurt a lil bit..but I aint let her see that. Feel me?
X: yeah--maybe your too difficult
Me: eww..I'm not...we don't do the gift exchange thing....usually ＄ in a card...or we go out and I pick my shit.......so were gonna set a date..but I'm over it.
X: yet u sound ?...on your birthday....you saidu wasn't expecting anything and that u don't celebrate it and shit...y u sound sooooo stank man?
Me: I realized...that I'm lucky.
I'm alive. Not starving. Has a mom who loves me. A job that pays me upto 16/hour.
Dreams that now seem reachable (thanks to my job)
....and even though some pple woulda wanted gifts and shit---i really wanted a phone call from (blank). =(
.......I'll live. I don't have a choice!
....I'll holla @ you L8a X---ima finish watch this shit then head 2 bed. I'm tired.
X: aight man. And cheer . You gettin paid soon and remember those DolceSneaks you wanted?..u can get emm now.
Me: ohhh yeahhh....when one feels ..Dolce&Gabbana should be the answer...NOTTTTTTT ! ! !
X: retard..Ｌ(ッ)Ｌ™ --hit me 2morrow or suttin.
Me: Peace <3
Friday, May 2, 2008
CaptainsLog::Liar-Liar
Y do people lie?
...I would have 2 say that pple lie to keep from hurting some one(s)
.....spare themselves embarassment
...........defense Mechanism
....habitual
............................................................................................................................
So 2night some 1 lied to me.
...I knew they were lying...and I woulda said something, but opted not 2.
....because frankly this person lies all the time...and not in a "second nature" kind of way......the sole purpose of these lies are to make the person they are dating look G☆★D in my eyes.
When did I ever carry sooo much power?....I could care less who a friend dates...I care even lesser whe its not really a G☆★D friends of mines dating some 1 one..and their lying to make their Shit'tabulous relationship seem like a fairy tale unraveling in brooklyn.
........it was difficult hearing the lie over and over again..and being there as this person chose to be so kind and tell the same lie to another friend...Recycling lies! ...NOT CUTE!!!!!!
.......*SIGH*---If your dating some 1 just based on looks...that's fine..ifyour dating some 1 because their dating you b ased on your looks, fine.
...just for sex?
........probably even a better reason to stick with them
..just for money? That's your choice
.......to hurt some one else?
That's a little evil..but the point is
WHO GIVES A SHIT???
I DON'T.
Just be happy...that's all that matters.....if you keep claimiung your dating some 1 wonderful and shit and they are never with you then people will looks at you and think what???..that's your lyin. And if your co0l with that..so am I.
......I like games...I'll play along.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh......this blog has been ummm..aight..I can't add a default pic 2 my profile thanx 2 this SideKick...I hate that....anyway...I will be writing in conversation form next entry..and probably here on out.....I luv being the captain----but it gets lonely..a convo between buddies should keep my interest...
...ughhhhhhh 3 entries in 1 night...I'm tired...
....fur'wheel son ! ! !
......domestic violence.
Cute on the "LIFETIME" channel...not sooo CUTE on your Face.
...I would have 2 say that pple lie to keep from hurting some one(s)
.....spare themselves embarassment
...........defense Mechanism
....habitual
............................................................................................................................
So 2night some 1 lied to me.
...I knew they were lying...and I woulda said something, but opted not 2.
....because frankly this person lies all the time...and not in a "second nature" kind of way......the sole purpose of these lies are to make the person they are dating look G☆★D in my eyes.
When did I ever carry sooo much power?....I could care less who a friend dates...I care even lesser whe its not really a G☆★D friends of mines dating some 1 one..and their lying to make their Shit'tabulous relationship seem like a fairy tale unraveling in brooklyn.
........it was difficult hearing the lie over and over again..and being there as this person chose to be so kind and tell the same lie to another friend...Recycling lies! ...NOT CUTE!!!!!!
.......*SIGH*---If your dating some 1 just based on looks...that's fine..ifyour dating some 1 because their dating you b ased on your looks, fine.
...just for sex?
........probably even a better reason to stick with them
..just for money? That's your choice
.......to hurt some one else?
That's a little evil..but the point is
WHO GIVES A SHIT???
I DON'T.
Just be happy...that's all that matters.....if you keep claimiung your dating some 1 wonderful and shit and they are never with you then people will looks at you and think what???..that's your lyin. And if your co0l with that..so am I.
......I like games...I'll play along.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh......this blog has been ummm..aight..I can't add a default pic 2 my profile thanx 2 this SideKick...I hate that....anyway...I will be writing in conversation form next entry..and probably here on out.....I luv being the captain----but it gets lonely..a convo between buddies should keep my interest...
...ughhhhhhh 3 entries in 1 night...I'm tired...
....fur'wheel son ! ! !
......domestic violence.
Cute on the "LIFETIME" channel...not sooo CUTE on your Face.
CaptainsLog:: in reference to Previous entry.
I was caught in something...I would say a "moment"...but my imagination is too out of control for such a boring place 2 be.
So yeah..about 2 entries ago I talked about stealing some 1 from someone else...although I have honestly thought about it.... I was watching tv that night..and got caught in a falseNess.....my friend lost a family member...and I'm actually happy that there's some one there provide the comfort and support that I can't. (Yeah I'm usually emotionally absent)
........with that said I'm not apologizing for my entry...I'm just realizing that I don't feel now what I was feeling then.
....like I said..I wasn't caught in a moment...its like I was apart of a soapOpera...and was planning a brilliant story line....where I would have won....but I realized I don't wanna win some one. I don't wanna tear some one apart from someone who's loving them better than and probably more than me at the moment....and when's all said and done. When I'm ready and got my shit organized I'll see what life gives me.
......which shouldt be much cause I don't want much. I just want some one I can be "WEAK" for.
...........
So yeah..about 2 entries ago I talked about stealing some 1 from someone else...although I have honestly thought about it.... I was watching tv that night..and got caught in a falseNess.....my friend lost a family member...and I'm actually happy that there's some one there provide the comfort and support that I can't. (Yeah I'm usually emotionally absent)
........with that said I'm not apologizing for my entry...I'm just realizing that I don't feel now what I was feeling then.
....like I said..I wasn't caught in a moment...its like I was apart of a soapOpera...and was planning a brilliant story line....where I would have won....but I realized I don't wanna win some one. I don't wanna tear some one apart from someone who's loving them better than and probably more than me at the moment....and when's all said and done. When I'm ready and got my shit organized I'll see what life gives me.
......which shouldt be much cause I don't want much. I just want some one I can be "WEAK" for.
...........
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